The Great Milky Foot Experiment of 2013 [Dec 21]

My plan: Sexy feet for New Years.  My tool: Milky Foot!

Advertisements for this stuff are all over the television lately and, let's face it, my poor impulse control is second only to my love of vast swaths of peeling feet flesh.  It's like this product was made specifically for my demographic!

The idea is you steep your feet in this mild acidic solution and, 5 - 10 days later, after an unsightly (some would say disgusting) period of peeling, you have exfoliated feet the likes of which newborn infants would be jealous of.

Inside the box is a bag.  It's blue, and everybody knows blue = medical and trustworthy.  It also has smiling feet on it and that can't be bad, can it?  It says 3D for some reason and, as I'm fortunate to have 3D feet, I'm taking that as a good sign.

Inside the bag are (drumroll) two foot bags.  Bags for your feet.  They're roughly feet shaped and they are sealed.  If you squeeze them, and you bet your ass I did, you'll feel some kind of slimy, viscous liquid inside.  If you cut the tops off, which you'll have to do eventually, resist the urge to stick your nose in there and take a giant whiff. Smells bad, man. Smells real bad.

The instructions are simple and straight forward - put your clean feet in the foot bags and leave them there for an hour.  So I did.  It went like this;

0:00 - Super easy application. Cut tops off feet bags, insert feet, tighten tops of feet bags using supplied tab of sticky stuff, whack on a pair of socks, sit still for an hour. Job done.

0:10 - Feels cool, like menthol. Not unpleasant but slightly weird.

0:20 - Menthol tingling intensifies, but still not unpleasant or painful.

0:30 - You have to keep both feet flat on the floor and I want to cross my legs.  First world problems.

0:40 - Now I'm hungry.  I think the tingling is lessening, but I may be just getting used to it.

0:50 - No, it's definitely lessening.  Still hungry.

1:00 - Surfing the internet...

1:17 - Shit!  What time did I put these bags on?  Didn't I set a timer?!  Oh shit, the timer went off 17 minutes ago!  Am I bleeding?  Am I going to lose my feet?!  Shit!!

There was no blood or trauma, don't worry.  I took off the bags, rinsed my feet clean of the colourless gel that coated them, and inspected them for damage.  There was nothing. Nada.  No sign at all that they'd spent an hour and seventeen minutes trapped in a bag with acid.  

And that's where the anticlimactic tale ends.  For now.  Apparently I won't see any exfoliation magic for five to ten days so I guess the only thing I can do for now is to get something to eat and once again enjoy crossing my legs at will.

(Obvs I'll update with disgusting details when something happens)

Spectrum

It's an old colour but, boy, is it eye catching!

One coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy and two coats of OPI Ridge Filler for a smooth base, topped with three coats of Sally Hansen HD Spectrum, and finished with one coat of Revlon Quick Dry Topcoat.

And now I'm going to continue staring at my awesome nails.

506

After living with China Glaze Liquid Leather, a black creme, for a couple of unsatisfying hours I thought I'd play around with a special effect topcoat to see if that improved anything.

I've got a few Ozotic topcoats that I picked up on sale and have never tried.  They look gorgeous in the bottle and their website recommends to layer them over a dark base coat so it seemed like the perfect opportunity to try one of them.  I'm glad I did!  I loved the final look and wore it all week.

This is one coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy, two coats of China Glaze Liquid Leather, and one coat of Ozotic 506.  I didn't use a clear top coat over the top.

Liquid Leather

The nails are getting so long that I decided to square them off and go with a really dark colour.  And what could be darker than black?

This is one coat OPI Matte Nail Envy followed by two coats China Glaze Liquid Leather.  I found it uninspiring so I didn't waste any topcoat on it.

Khaleesi

I'll admit it.  I bought this polish because of the name.  Well, that, and how interesting it looked on the website.  It's a silvery white mesh with a gold shimmer, both in the bottle and on the suppliers website.

On the nail, however, it becomes a hideously streaky, bubbly mess with no visible gold shimmer but an extremely visible nail line.  It looks like one of those frosted nail polishes from the 80s.  I hated it.

This is one coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy, two coats of OPI Ridge Filler, two coats of Hello Darling Khaleesi, and one coat of Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat.

I wore it for 24 hours to see if it would grow on me because I really wanted to like it, but I just found it more objectionable every time I looked at my nails!  To hide the bubbling and add interest I threw on two coats of China Glaze Snow Globe and finished with a coat of Sally Hansen Insta-Dry Anti-Chip Top Coat.  Tacky as hell, but at least the bubbles and streaks are hidden!

Henley Regatta

I got this Butter London polish about 6 months ago but didn't want to waste such a glorious colour on my stumpy stumps.  But now that my nails are finally starting to gain some strength and length I decided to take it for a spin.  Totally the right decision!

The last time I used a Butter London glitter I loved it in the bottle but thought it was a little thin on the nail so, after the usual base coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy, I used two coats of a similar coloured cream MUD Paradise Valley to give it a bit of depth.  This is two coats of Butter London Henley Regatta, topped with two coats of Revlon Quick Dry Topcoat.

There is both blue and green micro glitter in this blue base and the shimmer is just gorgeous.  I adored this mani and its sexy eye-catching glitz.

Royal Rajah Ruby

I love love love OPI Royal Rajah Ruby!  The formula is smooth and easy to work with, the coverage is great, and that colour is a vampy delight.  It's a very dark red with a red shimmer that catches the light beautifully but never veers into glittery or cheap.

This is two coats of Royal Rajah Ruby over one coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy and topped with one coat of Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat.

Posh Pink

Revlon Posh Pink looks like it should come in the same box as a Barbie doll.  Definitely not my colour!  But since the whole mani was already as girly as girly can be I dumped some Nyx Pink Glitter on the accent nail.

Two coats of colour over one coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy, two coats of glitter on the ring fingers, and the whole shebang topped with one coat of Revlon Quick Dry Top Coat.

Glitter Blue

BYS Glitter Blue is amazing!  It's cheap as balls, it's a pretty baby blue with the perfect amount of silver micro glitter, it's a suede finish, and it changes colour depending on the temperature!  

I bought it because it was a colour changer but that turned out to be the least interesting thing about it.  I was hoping that the nail tips, being cooler, would be a different colour and give me a no fuss gradient effect but, as you can see, the whole nail stayed "hot".  I eventually ran them under cold water to see the colour change and was disappointed that they only darkened by a shade or two.

The polish is quite sheer so I used four coats and you can still see the nail line, although this doesn't bother me as much as some.  The suede finish is lovely and the tiny silver glitter really makes the whole thing quite delicate and gorgeous.

Four coats of colour over one coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy.  No top coat.

Lotus

Zoya Lotus is a slightly muddy purple with a gold shimmer.  This is two coats of colour topped with two coats of Zoya Chloe, a gold/green flakie in a sheer pink base.

OPI Matte Nail Envy was used as a base coat, and the whole thing was topped with Seche Vite which, once again, caused noticeable shrinkage in the colour.

The daily biotin tablet and zinc tablet I've been taken combined with the Nail Envy is starting to have a noticeable difference in the amount of splitting and breakage I've been cursed with since my ill-conceived adventures in Shellac.  Huzzah!

Fiddlesticks

Butter London Fiddlesticks is a bright, bold magenta glitter which looks fantastic in the bottle but, sadly,  didn't live up to my expectations on the nail.  The colour itself is a knockout but the glitter coverage is not as dense as I'd like.  I used two coats and applied it in dim lighting conditions so I'll definitely try three coats next time.

The colour was applied over two coats of OPI Matte Nail Envy and finished with two coats of Revlon Quick Dry Topcoat.

All Tied Up

Essie All Tied Up is a muted brownish pink with a very subtle gold shimmer.  It's a nice, work-friendly colour which goes on smoothly with Essie's small brush.  Like a lot of Essie's polishes, this one dries a couple of shades darker than the polish in the bottle.

I've used two coats of colour over two coats of OPI Matte Nail Envy and topped the whole shebang with Revlon Quick Dry Topcoat.

Cinderella

Cinderella is a soft eggshell blue with a subtle copper shimmer from Sinful Colors. It's a fairly sheer formulation that requires multiple coats if you prefer an opaque finish.

This is three coats of Cinderella over two coats of OPI Matte Nail Envy and finished with one coat of Seche Vite.

I had picked up a bottle of Nail It! Stars on impulse yesterday while I was killing time window shopping and I used it to jazz up my ring fingers. Stars, as you'd expect, is star shaped holo glitter in a clear top coat. Application, also as you'd expect, involves fishing out individual bits and trying to place them strategically and individually.

I Saw... U Saw... We Saw... Warsaw

I'm still using a double coat of OPI Matte Nail Envy as a base coat but, even so, I had to trim my nails down again this morning to get rid of some ragged, peeling tips.  I will never get Shellac again, I swear.

Anyway, this is two coats of OPI I Saw... U Saw... We Saw... Warsaw, a lovely vampy inky teal which ticks all my boxes.  The polish goes on smooth, coverage is excellent, it's opaque in two coats, and the colour is gorgeous.  Pity about the name but then you can't have everything.  These photos, unfortunately, obliterate the teal and make it seem as though the polish is more of a clear blue than it is in the flesh.

This was glossy enough on its own but I cannot abide waiting around for nail polish to dry so I topped it off with a quick dry top coat, Sally Hansen Insta-Dry Anti-Chip Topcoat.  This used to be my go to top coat back in the day and I still like the finish but it tends to get gluggy quickly in the bottle.

Wool Knot

I'm such a sucker for textured polish.  Glitter, liquid sand, matte, beads, flocking, whatever it is you can count me in!  Right up until I try it, that is. That's when I immediately start to hate it.

So this is two coats of Sally Hanson Fuzzy Coat in Wool Knot over two coats of OPI Matte Nail Envy and finished with a top coat of Seche Vite.

In the bottle this looks like wild caught Muppet pelt in polish form. Unfortunately, it's gluggy and hard to work with, doesn't cover evenly and leaves bald spots. And who wants a Muppet with bald spots?

Candy Sprinkles

Two coats of LA Colors Color Craze Candy Sprinkles, the girliest pink creme that ever there was, with multi- sized, multicoloured glitter. The green, blue, hot pink, yellow and silver glitter comes in three sizes, all of which are quite small and easy to apply.  I threw on a top coat of Seche Vite to keep everything smooth.

This mani makes me think of cupcakes with pink icing and hundreds &  thousands. It's a lot of fun but a little too girly for me.

I Don't Give a Rotterdam

This is three coats of OPI I Don't Give a Rotterdam, a beautiful mid-grey with a slight bluish undertone and a gorgeously subtle shimmer. Seche Vite top coat.

I'm using two coats of OPI Nail Envy Matte as a base coat while I try to rehabilitate my poor nails after a Shellac manicure 6 months ago turned them into peeling, breaking stubs.  Lesson learned!

Seche Vite Disaster

Two coats of OPI Matte Nail Envy, two coats of OPI I Don't Give a Rotterdam, one coat of Seche Vite, and then... disaster! I've had shrinkage before with SV but never quite so catastrophic as this.

The thing is, the rest of the manicure is fine. Nine perfect nails and one embarrassing fiasco. The only difference between them is the other nine got three coats of colour and the failure only got two coats. This means that this poor double-coated loser here had been drying nicely while I added an extra coat to all his neighbours.

Could the dry polish be the culprit? SV is specifically designed to be painted on wet nails after all.